Introduction
Fidgeting has long been misunderstood. Many of us grew up hearing things like “sit still,” “stop tapping,” or “pay attention.” But what if those behaviors weren’t signs of distraction or disrespect—but tools for focus, calm, and self-regulation? Fidgeting is not only okay—it’s often necessary for neurodivergent brains to function at their best.
For those of us who are neurodivergent, like Ariel and me, fidgeting has always been a natural part of daily life—even if we didn’t recognize it as such for a long time. We often found ourselves doodling, shifting in our seats, or picking at things during moments of stress or concentration. At the time, it felt like something to be embarrassed about. But now we understand it as an important form of self-support.
What Is Fidgeting?
Fidgeting includes small, repetitive movements or actions—tapping, doodling, bouncing your leg, clicking a pen, twisting your hair, or using a fidget toy. These behaviors are common among autistic and ADHD individuals, but they can benefit anyone under stress, boredom, or sensory overload.
Why People Fidget
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To help concentrate
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To release nervous energy
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To cope with overstimulation or understimulation
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To reduce anxiety
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To feel more in control of their body or environment
The Science Behind It
Studies show that fidgeting can improve memory, increase alertness, and even support executive functioning in ADHD brains. Movement stimulates the brain’s dopamine and norepinephrine pathways—both of which help regulate attention and mood.
Breaking the Stigma
Unfortunately, fidgeting has often been framed as rude or immature. In schools and workplaces, it’s discouraged or punished. But the truth is, fidgeting doesn’t mean someone isn’t listening or paying attention—it often means they’re trying harder to stay engaged.
As adults who were both late-diagnosed, we now see how much effort went into masking behaviors like fidgeting in order to appear “normal.” It took time to unlearn that shame and start honoring our own natural ways of regulating.
Supporting Fidgeting in Everyday Life
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Use fidget tools like putty, cubes, or jewelry
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Keep small objects or textures on hand
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Give yourself permission to move during calls, meetings, or downtime
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Encourage kids (and adults!) to fidget without shame
If You Struggle With It…
It’s okay to take time to figure out what kinds of fidgeting work best for you—some might be too noisy, others too distracting. What matters most is finding something that helps your body feel safe, focused, and calm.
We’ve each had to try different things to find what works—Ariel might prefer a soft texture to hold, while I might need to bounce a leg or use a spinner ring. There’s no one-size-fits-all, and that’s the beauty of it.
Let’s Keep the Conversation Going
Do you fidget? What helps you focus or self-soothe? Drop a comment and share what’s worked for you—we’d love to hear your story and learn from your experience!