Introduction
Stimming—short for “self-stimulatory behavior”—is a natural part of many neurodivergent experiences, especially among autistic and ADHD individuals. Yet many of us grew up being told to stop, hide, or “control” these behaviors. The truth? Stimming is often a healthy, helpful, and even joyful form of self-regulation.
Ariel and I are still learning about stimming. We didn’t grow up being told it was okay—in fact, we didn’t even know we were doing it most of the time. But as we dive deeper into understanding our neurodivergence, we’re realizing how important it is to give ourselves permission to stim.
What Is Stimming?
Stimming can include any repetitive movement, sound, or action that helps regulate emotions, process sensory input, or manage overwhelming situations. It might look like:
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Hand-flapping
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Rocking
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Humming or making noises
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Hair twirling or skin rubbing
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Bouncing a leg or tapping fingers
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Using fidget tools
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Repeating words or phrases (echolalia)
Everyone stims sometimes—think of how people tap their feet when nervous—but for neurodivergent individuals, stimming can be a vital part of emotional and sensory regulation.
Why Do People Stim?
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To soothe anxiety or overwhelm
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To manage sensory input (either to block it out or seek more)
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To express emotions like joy or excitement
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To focus or stay grounded
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As a natural part of being
Unlearning the Shame Around Stimming
Many late-diagnosed people, including us, were taught to suppress our stims to “blend in” or appear neurotypical. But masking can lead to burnout and disconnection from our own needs.
We’ve both had to relearn that stimming isn’t something to be ashamed of—it’s a way our bodies try to take care of us. The more we accept it in ourselves and each other, the more regulated and authentic we feel.
Ways to Support Healthy Stimming
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Use fidget tools or chewable jewelry
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Play with textures, kinetic sand, or water beads
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Listen to music on repeat
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Find repetitive motion that feels good (swinging, rocking, knitting, etc.)
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Give yourself (and others) permission to stim freely in safe spaces
If You’re New to Stimming…
It might feel strange or even uncomfortable at first—especially if you’ve spent years suppressing these behaviors. But try exploring it gently. What motions feel comforting? What textures or rhythms calm you? Let yourself be curious without judgment.
Let’s Talk About It
Do you stim? Were you ever told not to? Have you found ways to embrace it in your adult life? We’d love to hear your experience—drop it in the comments and let’s keep the conversation going.