What Is a Meltdown?
A meltdown is not a tantrum. It’s not an overreaction, a cry for attention, or something we can simply “control.” A meltdown is a neurological response to extreme overwhelm—sensory, emotional, mental, or a combination of all three. For many neurodivergent people, especially those with autism or ADHD, meltdowns are how the body and brain respond when everything becomes too much.
What Triggers a Meltdown?
Meltdowns often come after a buildup of stressors—sensory overload, emotional strain, communication breakdowns, masking fatigue, unmet needs, or unexpected changes. Sometimes it’s one big trigger, but often, it’s the final straw after a long chain of small stressors.
Examples include:
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Loud noises, bright lights, or crowded spaces
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Being misunderstood or ignored
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Trying to “hold it together” for too long
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Transitions or disrupted routines
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Emotional overload, even from good things
What Does a Meltdown Look Like?
Meltdowns can look different for everyone. Some people cry uncontrollably. Some scream, shake, or hit themselves. Others shut down completely, becoming nonverbal or dissociative. They can last a few minutes—or a few days.
For both of us, meltdowns are incredibly upsetting. They can be exhausting, disorienting, and sometimes frightening. We don’t always understand them, and that lack of clarity can make them harder to cope with. Sometimes we’re left feeling ashamed or confused after the fact, unsure how to explain what just happened.
Meltdowns Are Not Failures
One of the hardest parts of experiencing meltdowns is the guilt that follows. But meltdowns are not a sign of weakness or immaturity. They are a sign that our nervous system is overloaded and our brain is doing its best to cope.
You are not broken for having meltdowns. You are human—and your brain is reacting in the way it knows how.
What Helps During and After a Meltdown?
There’s no universal fix, but here are some things that can help:
During a meltdown:
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Reduce stimulation (dim the lights, lower the volume, step away from people)
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Use a comfort item, fidget, or grounding technique
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Give yourself or your person time—no pressure to talk or explain right away
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Breathe if you can, or allow your body to move through it without judgment
After a meltdown:
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Rest. A lot.
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Drink water, eat something grounding
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Reflect gently—what built up? What might help next time?
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Reconnect with someone safe who can validate your experience
We’re still learning how to navigate this too. Sometimes the best thing we can do is just be gentle with ourselves and each other afterward. The emotional hangover can be intense.
Let’s Talk About It
If you deal with meltdowns, know that you are not alone. Your experience is valid, even if the people around you don’t always understand it. Whether you’re just starting to recognize your meltdowns or have been managing them for years, your journey matters.
Have you found anything that helps you during or after a meltdown? Or do you just want a place to feel seen? Drop a comment—we’d love to hold space for you.