Have you ever had someone cancel plans and felt like they secretly hate you? Or received constructive feedback and suddenly spiraled into shame, panic, or self-loathing?
You’re not overreacting. You might be living with something called Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, or RSD.
And if that term is new to you – welcome. You’re not alone.
What Is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is an intense emotional response to the perception of rejection, criticism, failure, or even mild disapproval. The term dysphoria itself means “difficult to bear,” and that’s exactly what RSD is: a reaction that feels crushing, overwhelming, and immediate.
RSD isn’t officially listed in the DSM (yet), but it’s commonly experienced by neurodivergent individuals, especially those with ADHD and Autism. It’s not about being “too sensitive”—it’s about your brain reacting like rejection is a threat to your very survival.
RSD can be triggered by:
- Real or perceived criticism
- Being left out or excluded
- Not getting a response quickly
- Feeling like you let someone down
- Making a mistake and fearing others’ judgment
Even when no one else sees a problem, your brain is screaming: You failed. You’re unlovable. You’re not enough.
What It Feels Like (From Our Perspective):
As two neurodivergent adults (both late-diagnosed with ADHD and Autism), we’ve lived this.
Ariel:
“When I first learned about RSD, I cried. Not because I was sad—but because I finally had words for what I’d been experiencing my whole life. Every ‘no’ felt like a personal attack. Every unanswered text meant I was being abandoned. I didn’t know how to separate my sense of self-worth from other people’s reactions—or lack of them.”
Charissa:
“For me, RSD often feels like a wave of shame so fast and strong I can’t breathe. It’s not just emotional—it’s physical. My body tenses, my chest aches, and I want to run, hide, or disappear. Even small things, like someone not saying thank you, can spiral into self-doubt and isolation.”
We’ve both lost friendships, avoided opportunities, and silenced ourselves just to avoid the possibility of rejection. RSD isn’t about being dramatic—it’s about protecting yourself from pain that feels unbearable.
The Science Behind RSD
While RSD hasn’t been extensively studied yet, experts believe it’s tied to the way neurodivergent brains process emotion and threat. People with ADHD or Autism often experience emotional regulation differences – meaning we feel emotions more intensely and may take longer to return to baseline.
This isn’t a weakness. It’s just different wiring. Imagine your brain has a “rejection alarm” – and in RSD, that alarm is ultra-sensitive. It goes off at the smallest signal, even when no one else hears it. And once it goes off, your body and brain respond with panic, shame, or even anger.
It’s real. It’s exhausting. And it’s valid.
How RSD Shows Up:
Here are just a few ways RSD might show up in everyday life:
- Over-apologizing for everything, even things not your fault
- People-pleasing to avoid any chance of disapproval
- Withdrawing from people or opportunities to avoid rejection
- Overanalyzing texts or conversations to find hidden meaning
- Explosive emotions, like rage or sobbing, that feel out of proportion to the trigger
- Masking, or hiding your true self to be “acceptable” to others
Sound familiar? Yeah. Us too.
So… What Helps?
We won’t pretend RSD has an easy fix—but we can learn to move through it with gentleness, understanding, and support. Here are a few tools that help us (and might help you too):
- Name It to Tame It
When you know what RSD is, you can begin to notice it when it shows up. Try saying, “This feels like rejection, but it might be my RSD reacting. I’m safe.”
- Regulate First, Reflect Later
RSD hijacks your nervous system. Before trying to “talk yourself out of it,” focus on calming your body: deep breaths, grounding exercises, or sensory supports like fidget tools, weighted blankets, or cold water.
- Use Scripts or Anchors
Having go-to reminders or affirmations can help you pause the spiral:
- “This isn’t about my worth.”
- “One moment doesn’t define my value.”
- “My perception is valid, and I can still check the facts.”
- Build Safe Support Systems
It helps to have people who get it—who won’t dismiss your pain or call you “too sensitive.” That’s what our healing community is for. You deserve to be seen and supported.
- Practice Self-Compassion
RSD may be part of your neurodivergence, but shame doesn’t have to be. It’s okay to hurt. It’s okay to need reassurance. You’re not too much.
To Anyone Who Feels Like They’re “Too Sensitive”
If you’re reading this and tearing up or nodding along – hi. We’re so glad you’re here. We see you. You are not broken. You are not weak. You are someone with a tender heart and a sensitive nervous system trying to make sense of a world that hasn’t always been kind.
Rejection might sting deeper for you but so does love. So does joy. So does connection. You feel deeply because you care deeply. And that is not something to be ashamed of—it’s something to honor.
Let’s Keep the Conversation Going
We want to hear from you:
- What does RSD feel like in your life?
- What helps you cope when those big waves hit?
- How do you wish others would support you when you’re hurting?
Drop your thoughts in the comments or connect with us on Instagram or Discord.
Together, let’s build a world where sensitivity isn’t a weakness—it’s a strength that deserves space, understanding, and love.
Let’s Heal Together.